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infamousnfamous:

i was gonna rant with Big Words and Quotes but then got lazy

so here’s the heavily condensed version: stop thinking that people are ~unenlightened~, or, even worse, not queer enough, for not engaging in polyamorous relationships and for the love of god please stop saying every love triangle would be solved by being poly that is so rude

autarkical said: because it leads to e.g. lib dems getting nearly as many votes as the main 2 parties and far fewer seats

a) seriously, ask me how much of a shit i give that fringe parties aren’t getting seats in parliament. seriously. cry me a river. the green party are practically the only fringe party that aren’t a bunch of mental racists. have you not noticed how terrible the coalition has been for consistent government? that would be what it would be like, forever. a coalition of people who fucking hate each other, who disagree about most important issues, desperately trying to keep everything going, forever.

b) you don’t just vote for a party in an election. you vote for a representative of a party. you could have a potential two candidates from a party in an area covered by this sort of voting system, and the voting system could mean only one of them get in. one of these candidates is great and the other is total shit, and you would have no ability to guarantee which one gets in because you’re voting primarily for a party and not a person. i don’t want my vote utilised in the way proportional representation would have it utilised. 

c) in british democracy, the emergence of the labour party alone proves that the so-called guaranteed two-party system caused by first past the post is not guaranteed at all. 

d) you cannot convince me that proportional voting isn’t nonsense. the debate over proportional representation is a symptom and not a solution. the way to make the public more engaged with politics is not to change the voting system so ukip could actually get into parliament pretty much guaranteed, heaven help us, but to be better at politics. people keep saying that proportional representation is ‘more democratic' but WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN. it doesn't mean anything!!! 

p.s. the lib dems got like. two million votes less than labour in the last general election. that’s not ‘nearly as many’ by a very long shot.

i don’t know how much my brain is lying to me. because. okay. i worked at an advocacy service and i think, think, i helped people there. there was a woman whose male boss was bullying her. various homeless or borderline homeless people who needed assistance with housing and the things that could go wrong with said housing. an expat couple who moved back because the wife needed cancer treatment and was scared she was going to die. lots of people who didn’t understand the court system. a lady who cried because she didn’t think she could feed her children and didn’t know about hardship payments. a man who had bought a caravan which was the only place he and his severely disabled wife could go on holiday, and the caravan was unusable and he was distraught. i don’t know if i helped any of these people for more than about two hours but i needed to make this list. there are more people. i just. sdfbuisdfhjsdkfhs

probably stop reading what i’m writing i know how bad it sounds but i am not always as good at arguing with the inside of my brain as i should be

i just want to give up, it feels like the universe wants me to give up, my own father and sister definitely want me to give up, i’m so tired and i can’t keep doing this, i have literally never done anything in all the years i’ve done this work that made me feel remotely like i was good at it or worth it, i don’t think i’ve ever actually helped anybody once,  which is the measure of it, really

my greatest fear is being the person who does this sort of thing because it’s all about themselves, and if i’ve never actually helped anyone that’s  basically what i’ve done, isn’t it? 

if your own parents always thought you couldn’t do it you probably can’t do it, you know

sometimes i wonder if this blog was really bad for me because i think i am actually really unrealistic and naive about my career prospects and using this to write things that people responded to made me feel like i wasn’t being naive but i am, i am almost at the window for being too old to start the career i want to have and i don’t know what happened to me because i used to surprise people at university over how low my career aims were (basically non-existent) and since i left i came to believe that i was actually capable of doing something and i don’t know where that came from, because i have no objective evidence for it at all

like, 25 is too old for this if you have consistently failed to generate anything by 25 you just need to, you know. stop. i need to stop.

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